It is done...

Well, last night was it, Kat officially broke up with me. I guess I can't remember a time when I was more sad, but it is all for the better.

You see, Kat is a good person. She may have never actually loved me, but at least she cared enough not to let me know that. She may have told a lot of lies. Some very hurtful. But no matter how many she told, in her own way she thought she was doing something for the better.

So I suppose I should give her my blessing. Because if she truly loves David, which she must (even though she says she does not.) Then she will make him very happy. Because she is someone who will stick with you through thick or thin, just as long as you don't bore her.

At first I was very upset, as I naturally should have been. But I understand now why it would have never worked. Kat is not old enough to understand love. She has never been in love before and it is doubtfull to me that she will be for some time. I guess I was just the idiot who got too attached and fell for somebody I did not have a chance with.

Kat and I are on good terms now, we are still good friends, I still plan on staying at her house tommorow, and will most likely still be going to homecoming with her this weekend. So, alls well that ends well right?

Problems....

This post is directed to one person and one person only. If anyone else reads it, well then, I don't know.... Kat, I have been having problems lately. I feel like I am going crazy. After that talk on AIM that we had yesterday I have become very concerned. I am not sure if I even want you to make a decision anymore. I have this deep fear of being rejected, I am not sure how I might handle it. I can't get you out of my head. It is driving me insane! I don't know what to do anymore. It is hard for me to tell you these things in person. I am so afraid of losing you, but I know that I can not feel this way. You have a boyfriend. I should not be having these feelings for you, but I can not stop them either. I don't even know why I am telling you this. I suppose I just needed to tell someone. Its like I can not even be happy unless I am around you. I know this can't be healthy. All I do is sit around all day thinking about you, and how much I miss being around you. What am I supposed to do?