The Optimism of Summer

Currently I am going through a lot of my older posts in my blog and editing them to get rid of junk posts, add tags and make the titles more representative of the content of the posts. This of course entails reading things that are long forgotten memories for myself. Long forgotten even from one year ago sadly. I just got through a section of posts about "The Summer of Ian" They are from almost exactly one year ago. It is amazing how things change, and how rapidly they change. At the begining of June 2009 I was sure my job at Skory Autosound would last. I was making good money, I had established myself nicely in a house in Okemos, and I was starting to save money to get out of debt and acquire the things I needed to go forward with making movies also to get out of debt. I had very recently broken up with Olivia (I am not even going to get into that story any time soon.) I was single and ready to mingle. The whole world was my oyster and I was a mollusk loving freak. Then.. it all changed. The job I thought would last did not, my relationship with Olivia only grew more complicated and the little money I had saved suddenly had to be spent elsewhere.

A year later I am starting fresh again, with optimism but maybe not the pure blinding optimism as before. Currently I am living in a great apartment with the most fantastic roommate I could ask for. I have a new job, but is honestly a crappy job and I don't make much money. I do make enough money to pay my rent and bills, only barely. I have been thinking greatly as of late about returning to school. I have decided I would like to aquire a degree in English Literature. I have many reason for that choice and I may post about those later. My life as of late is a struggle, but the optimism comes from me at least being able to see the light. If I can struggle like this for just a few years I may be able to pull myself out of this pile of debt, depression and self-loathing. I can feel it! I feel like I have really changed, matured even. This may not be The Summer of Ian, I do think it will be a great summer nonetheless.

Lansing In Decay

On my way to work this morning I came across this old gas station being torn down. It had been closed for years but I had to take a picture before it was gone for good. I have a memory of this place that sticks out in my mind. Not a fond memory, but an important one.

Years ago I worked for Pizza Hut, a place that has defined so much of my life. About two years into that job I became a manager and got transferred out to Okemos, a move which made me hate a job I had previously loved.

My time in Okemos was interesting to say the least. I was probably not the best manager that store had ever seen but I dont think I was the worst either.

One day I came into work and was greeted by a new general manager, one whose first order of bussiness was to fire me. This was something I neither expexted or was prepared for. It was the worst time in my life to loose my job, I was in a delicate emotional state then due to rampant drug and alcohal abuse.

I decided to walk home that day. At the time I lived near the corner of Lake Lansing and Harrison in East Lansing. It was not a short walk.

By the time I reached the corner of Grand River and Okemos, the location of this particular gas station, I really needed to vent.

I decided to vent on myself, bought me a pack of marlboro reds and smoked almost the entire pack on my way home.

Thinking back on that day is very surreal, and I remember it and think about it every time I pass this place. 09 - Lansing In Decay

That little room in Okemos...

09 I was so proud of this setup when I first put it up. What you see here is a folding table and chair. On the folding table is an ancient Pentium II laptop with the video connected to the widescreen monitor next to it. I was watching a TV show on Hulu only the laptop was not capable of playing video at 1680x1050 as it would just be choppy and instantly overheat. To work around this the widescreen monitor was always set to 640x480 and I just get a little bit of a blurry picture. Looked great from the bed however.

On top of the folding table is my old entertainment center. The middle shelf was removed to allow space for the computers underneath. The top TV had cable access as well as glorious PS2 gaming.

This was one of my priding moments making a little bit of space work really well.

The New Year... far has been a little strange. I had a brief stint this week with trying to reconcile things with my old friend Drew which turned out to be less than sucessful. I suppose it was just not meant to be.

I am not entirely sure if I had mentioned it before but I recently was forced to move rather quickly and have ended up renting another room in a house, this time out in Okemos.

I don't plan on staying here forever but it will probably be a while now before I have the chance to finally find my own place.

Financially my life is more depressing than ever I am currently payin about 200 a week in rent. A price my paychecks can barely cover. It is a temporary payment amount until my security deposit is paid off but it has made my life incredibly stressful.

Things could be going better between Olivia and I. While I would say we are still very much in love, emotionally the trip has been chaotic as of late. I am hoping things change soon but all I can really do is wait, I have done everything else in my power to make it better and now the ball is in her court.

On the brighter side of things I have been eating healthier lately and can already see the benefits of such in my body. Fitting into a size 36 pant has now become possible and my energy levels are gradually increasing to a less comatose place.

Otherwise nothing is new, peace out!

The Epic...

I started working with a new idea for a novel, the first time I have done so in years. I have worked on scripts, I have worked on short stories, first novel since high school-ish though. It is inspired by my new shut-in roommate and a theory I had shared with Olivia last night about how he may be a serial killer. There is a bit more to it than that, but the pieces seem to be falling together just right in my head, which is a very good thing. It will mostly be based off of my own life, meaning there may be a character based on YOU! (Don't worry the names will be changed to protect the innocent.)

Grababled, I have been thinking about this all morning, my mind is in obsession state. I need to write more. Peace out!