Alien Encounters of an Ian Kind

When I was younger you could say I had a fascination with Aliens.

For a period I consumed as many books, TV shows, movies, and documentaries about aliens as I could get my hands on. I explored parts of the early internet that had discussion boards about alien encounters.

Then I had some of my own, and it terrified me.

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Dreamworld...

I love when I oversleep. I seem to have the best lucid dreams when I am on the most amount of sleep. To be honest, I almost wish I could just always be sleeping. The dreamworld is always more exciting and fun than the real world. Even when it is a nightmare world it is still a lot more interesting.

In my dreams I am always on some sort of adventure, I always end up being the hero and I see things that amaze me everyday. It really sucks to have to wake up from that and go live my normal boring life. The world in my head is so much better than this place, I wish I could just go and live there.

Yes, this makes me sound like a little child wanting to run away to a fantasy land. But who really loves there life anyway? I love some of the creative things I get to work on here and I love being different than any other person I know in an awesome way. But that is all just love for the things that I do. I can't really say there is much here to make me want to stay if I had a choice.

I came to this realization lately. I really don't like people at all, and I hate being around them. If I could just be alone all the time I think that would be preferable. I always feel like I am making friends and struggling to keep them just so people will look at me and think that I am normal. I always say I don't care what people think but obviously I do because I put myself in situations everyday that I don't want to be in just to make people think I am a well balanced human being.

What is so wrong with just being alone, I don't trust anyone more than I trust myself. I am the only person that really understands me and I don't seem to understand anyone else at all.

Fucking a, to work I go.